Pizza Mouth
Have you ever eaten a slice of pizza and had the roof of your mouth completely scratched up and in pain? I have, and it sucks.
I also call this problem corn-pop mouth syndrome.
It happens when you eat crunchy yet flaky foods and they scrape your palate until it has grooves combed in like some miniature zen garden. But the only person who knows it exists is you, and it makes you want to shoot monks, not act like one.
The situation is made infinitely times worse when you eat a large slice and have an ice cold coke to wash the bready goodness down. Not only does the hot-cold fusion of the pizza and drink tumultuously combine into a whirlwind of hurt, but the pizza crust raking at the roof of your mouth paired with the icy blast of the drink form a synergy of carbonated purgatory.
If you didn’t follow that last bit, it means that I motherfucking hate pizza mouth.
Maxie, this blog is unfortunately sadistic, and its name is too inappropriate to link considering my g-ma reads mine. But it is delightfully entertaining!